is this what i should be doing? am i fostering my extrovert by sitting alone inside all day? what am i doing with my life? WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
maybe it's my age. maybe it's the various crudola life's thrown at me (so not any worse than anyone else's crudola). maybe it's cause my sissies live nowhere near me.
whatever it is, it's got me looking - SEARCHING - for my spirit. yes, i'm getting 'spirit'ual up in here. i know we've never chatted about that holy higher power, the man upstairs, you know, God, but here we are. because i struggle. every day.
and, really and truly, through the shoulders he's provided me to cry on, through the powerful words of scripture he's laid at my fingertips, through people who've shared similar experiences at the right moment, through the family and man he's given to love me unconditionally, even when i doubt and doubt and doubt, i know he's got my back.
a wise man told me the holy spirit talks oh so softly, and sometimes we have to be so, so quiet to hear. um, being quiet? not my forté. well, i'm working on it. the stillness. the listening. the HEARING. the BEing instead of the DOing.
so, i wrote this today in case any of you are struggling; if any of you are looking for your spirit. i read a blog pretty frequently, and that girl is all about shouting her faith from the rooftops. she's a serious inspiration. with really good taste in music! check her out. today, she had these words to say (her words come to my eyes and ears at THE most perfect times):
God is bigger than your biggest mess and your impossible dreams and your heartache and your pain. your broken marriage and your severed relationships. He's bigger than your depression and He's bigger than your troubled background. He's bigger than that hidden sin in your heart and your secret relationships. He's bigger than your breakup and He's bigger than your abuser. He is bigger than your perspective and your unbelief.
our God is called Redeemer for a reason.
let me say that one more time.
our God is called Redeemer for a reason.
the Hope of this God is free to everyone who believes.
believe that there is hope in your situation because God says there is.
He is enough for you.i Hope. because God says to. and, i Hope these words bring light to any darkness you might be experiencing. love to you all!
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~romans 15:13
